'I hit the [halfway mark] and Olympic athletes have already finished': Unathletic woman creates her own 'Out of Shape Olympics', competing at a tremendously average level to prove a hilarious point

Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor

Aug 7, 2024 6:00 AM EDT

What happens when a nonathletic person participates in Olympic events?

Admit it, you've been watching the Olympics instead of working for the past few weeks. Captivated by the Olympian's crushing impossibly amazing athletic achievements, it's easy for a regular person to wonder where they would fall on the sliding scale of success. Could you make it to the podium? The Realist in everyone says, 'Of course not!', but the intrusive thoughts whisper in your ear and tell you that you could probably come pretty close to competing at the Olympic level.

If only a regular person were competing at the same time as the Olympians, we could have a direct reference of success…

Well, someone call Paris 2024, because we have a supremely average unathletic woman representing the regular Joe Shmoes in the Olympics this year! Simona Stallone has selected herself as the qualifying average person fit to represent the Common Man. Performing at her peak and in her finest form, Simona has tackled a few of the gnarliest events in the Olympics to prove that we are nowhere near the Olympic level. Keep scrolling to watch a regular lady get absolutely annihilated by Olympic time trials in the pool, on the track, on the streets, and at the range.

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